“I can’t believe what he’s doing! We had an understanding within our leadership group that essentially says that if any of us, including our boss, were to consider making decisions that directly impact the rest of us, we would consult with each other first. The whole idea was to assure understanding, ownership and the opportunity to increase chances of success for any initiatives we advanced in our organization. Damn it, did that ever change.” said Kathy, the Chief Information Technology officer of a large software development firm.

“So what happened?” I asked. “Well he just went out and hired a new Human Resource Director without touching base with any of us. Not only that, the individual has now been with us eleven months and has been a total net drain on our resources instead of being a net contributor. We’ve tried to go for a ‘walk in the desert with Mike, our CEO, but he seems to be avoiding the blinding glimpse of the obvious for the rest of the leadership team.” Kathy then emphatically stated, “It’s just not working out and Mike just doesn’t see it!”

It sounds like a possible example of ‘escalating commitment’ on Mike’s part.” I responded. “Can you tell me more about what you mean?” Kathy asked. “Well,” I went on, “It would appear that Mike has made a decision to hire this person based on what clearly seemed very rational to him at the time. Unfortunately, he didn’t consult with you and the rest of the leadership team to assure the successful transition for the individual into your organization as would have normally been expected. This apparent lack of expected consultation has exacerbated the situation.”

“Does this make any sense so far?” I inquired. “Absolutely”, Kathy replied, “Please go on.”  ”Given what you’ve shared thus far about the HR Director’s performance to date and her inability to fit in with your team, Mike has continued to escalate his commitment to the original decision even though things have changed considerably.” I then asked, “What do you think is behind this given your knowledge of Mike and the situation?” 

“Personally”, Kathy went on, “I feel Mike’s ego has gotten in his way and he’s simply digging the hole deeper for himself and the HR Director. If he doesn’t get on top of this, and soon, he will lose a lot of credibility with the rest of the team . . . not to mention his boss Frank. I think the rest of the team feels that what Mike really needs to do now is to stop sinking any deeper before it’s too late, pull the plug out, get back on hard ground by revisiting his decision given the changed circumstances. It would not only be fair to the organization, to Mike himself, but particularly to the individual in question who is no doubt experiencing a lot of pain and anguish herself.”

“Given your thoughts and feelings so far, what is it you think needs to be done?” I asked Kathy. “It’s pretty clear that a number of us need to connect with Mike and encourage him in a very honest and supportive way to address this directly and create some kind of win-win solution for the organization and the individual before it deteriorates any further.” 

“By when I asked.” “Given the sense of urgency, we need to do this by the end of the week.” “How will ‘we’ know it’s been done in follow up?” “I’ll send you an email right after we meet with Mike. Will that work?” Kathy quickly responded. “Sounds like a plan to me my friend. Let me know if I can be of further service in your making this happen successfully.”

“By the way, what’s the concept we just talked about called? It clearly described this situation in a nut-shell.” asked Kathy. “It sometimes referred to as ‘escalation of commitment’ or ‘irrational escalation’, as well as ‘commitment bias,” I shared.

Have you observed escalating commitment in your organization? Is this a personal Achilles Heal? Your observations and opinions are most valued.

“I really don’t like doing it!” claimed Frank, the Senior Vice President, Business Development with a large corporate leader in the energy business. “Doing what?” I asked. “Control. I hate finding myself in the position to have to control my direct reports. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“So what do you want to do?” was my response. “There must be some other way!” Frank said in frustration (always a green light for my executive coaching). “Do you remember when we talked about the four key components of management a few weeks ago?” I inquired. “Yeah, I do” stated Frank. “So what were they?” I followed up.

“Well, if I can remember the first was good old planning. Then, I believe the next was getting organized around supporting the plan. Oh yeah, next was leading. This is about truly caring and creating the environment for my troops so that they become more motivated to make it all successfully happen, thus driving up their work effort resulting in high quality performance . The last component was about control. OK, now I remember, it’s about controlling the plan, not my people. I know you really emphasized this last piece when we previously discussed this. Man, I’ve got to really get this into the marrow of my leadership bones. It’s about controlling the plan and motivating my people!”

“Great on you my friend for getting this clear. Around the motivating piece, here’s a small gift that might help you. As I’ve said many times in our past coaching conversations, you can either keep it or throw it in the garbage. I’m never attached to gifts given to you. This particular one has worked well for both myself and many of my executive clients. By the way, I’ve been unable to identify who the author of this is, but here it goes.” 

HEALTHY CARING IS  

I can listen to you without interrupting

Because I am in a working relationship with you, I choose to listen to you and see how my behavior impacts you  

I will not control and manipulate you to get what I want

I will not punish you for saying “no” to me  

I will not fear your rejection. I understand that “no” to me is a “yes” to you. I truly care about you. I want you to take care of yourself  

If you end up leaving our group . . . the organization . . . I will experience definite discomfort and I know that I, we, can still be satisfied here without your valued support 

I will not ask you to give up who you are to be cared by me

Your security, satisfaction and development will be as important to me as my security, satisfaction and development

I will not try to take away your feelings or rob you of them so I can be comfortable

So there you have it dear reader, all of us are continually in choice as to how we relate! So what was the blinding glimpse of the obvious for you, your team, your organization in the above? I would love to hear your thoughts and gain your perspective. Thank you for taking the time to read this.