MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY, HEALTHY & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

Posted in: Emotional Intelligence, Personal Coaching

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YOU’RE BRILLIANT: THE EARTH IS HIRING

Every now and then a gift is given to the world, and that is just what Paul Hawken gave us in an unforgettable commencement address to the Class of 2009, at the University of Portland. It was recently passed on to me and I want to gift it forward so you too can enjoy his powerful message. Enjoy.

“When I was invited to give this speech, I was asked if I could give a simple short talk that was “direct, naked, taut, honest, passionate, lean, shivering, startling, and graceful.” No pressure there.

Let’s begin with the startling part. Class of 2009: you are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on earth at a time when every living system is declining, and the rate of decline is accelerating. Kind of a mind-boggling situation . . . but not one peer-reviewed paper published in the last thirty years can refute that statement. Basically, civilization needs a new operating system, you are the programmers, and we need it within a few decades.

This planet came with a set of instructions, but we seem to have misplaced them. Important rules like don’t poison the water, soil or air, don’t let the earth get overcrowded, and don’t touch the thermostat have been broken. Buckminster Fuller said that spaceship earth was so ingeniously designed that no one has a clue that we are on one, flying through the universe at a million miles per hour, with no need for seat-belts, lots of room in coach, and really good food – but all that is changing

There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn’t bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: You are Brilliant and the Earth is Hiring. The earth couldn’t afford to send recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here’s the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don’t be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done.”.  For the rest of the address go to http://youarebrilliant.org/. “ It is well worth the few additional minutes to read the balance of this wonderful commencement address. Then I invite you to gift it forward!

Paul Hawken is a noted visionary and entrepreneur whose many books can be found on Amazon.com. We would enjoy hearing what your gold nuggets are from reading his comments and observations. Who are you becoming? What are you willing to change? What’s next?

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Posted in: Business Coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership Development, Organization Development, Personal Coaching

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ESCALATING COMMITMENT: A LEADER’S ACHILLES HEEL!

 

“I can’t believe what he’s doing! We had an understanding within our leadership group that essentially says that if any of us, including our boss, were to consider making decisions that directly impact the rest of us, we would consult with each other first. The whole idea was to assure understanding, ownership and the opportunity to increase chances of success for any initiatives we advanced in our organization. Damn it, did that ever change.” said Kathy, the Chief Information Technology officer of a large software development firm.

“So what happened?” I asked. “Well he just went out and hired a new Human Resource Director without touching base with any of us. Not only that, the individual has now been with us eleven months and has been a total net drain on our resources instead of being a net contributor. We’ve tried to go for a ‘walk in the desert with Mike, our CEO, but he seems to be avoiding the blinding glimpse of the obvious for the rest of the leadership team.” Kathy then emphatically stated, “It’s just not working out and Mike just doesn’t see it!”

It sounds like a possible example of ‘escalating commitment’ on Mike’s part.” I responded. “Can you tell me more about what you mean?” Kathy asked. “Well,” I went on, “It would appear that Mike has made a decision to hire this person based on what clearly seemed very rational to him at the time. Unfortunately, he didn’t consult with you and the rest of the leadership team to assure the successful transition for the individual into your organization as would have normally been expected. This apparent lack of expected consultation has exacerbated the situation.”

“Does this make any sense so far?” I inquired. “Absolutely”, Kathy replied, “Please go on.”  ”Given what you’ve shared thus far about the HR Director’s performance to date and her inability to fit in with your team, Mike has continued to escalate his commitment to the original decision even though things have changed considerably.” I then asked, “What do you think is behind this given your knowledge of Mike and the situation?” 

“Personally”, Kathy went on, “I feel Mike’s ego has gotten in his way and he’s simply digging the hole deeper for himself and the HR Director. If he doesn’t get on top of this, and soon, he will lose a lot of credibility with the rest of the team . . . not to mention his boss Frank. I think the rest of the team feels that what Mike really needs to do now is to stop sinking any deeper before it’s too late, pull the plug out, get back on hard ground by revisiting his decision given the changed circumstances. It would not only be fair to the organization, to Mike himself, but particularly to the individual in question who is no doubt experiencing a lot of pain and anguish herself.”

“Given your thoughts and feelings so far, what is it you think needs to be done?” I asked Kathy. “It’s pretty clear that a number of us need to connect with Mike and encourage him in a very honest and supportive way to address this directly and create some kind of win-win solution for the organization and the individual before it deteriorates any further.” 

“By when I asked.” “Given the sense of urgency, we need to do this by the end of the week.” “How will ‘we’ know it’s been done in follow up?” “I’ll send you an email right after we meet with Mike. Will that work?” Kathy quickly responded. “Sounds like a plan to me my friend. Let me know if I can be of further service in your making this happen successfully.”

“By the way, what’s the concept we just talked about called? It clearly described this situation in a nut-shell.” asked Kathy. “It sometimes referred to as ‘escalation of commitment’ or ‘irrational escalation’, as well as ‘commitment bias,” I shared.

Have you observed escalating commitment in your organization? Is this a personal Achilles Heal? Your observations and opinions are most valued.

Posted in: 360 Coaching, Business Coaching, Career Transitions, Emotional Intelligence, Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, Leadership Transition, Personal Coaching, Team & Group Coaching

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HEALTHY CARING IS: AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP!

“I really don’t like doing it!” claimed Frank, the Senior Vice President, Business Development with a large corporate leader in the energy business. “Doing what?” I asked. “Control. I hate finding myself in the position to have to control my direct reports. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“So what do you want to do?” was my response. “There must be some other way!” Frank said in frustration (always a green light for my executive coaching). “Do you remember when we talked about the four key components of management a few weeks ago?” I inquired. “Yeah, I do” stated Frank. “So what were they?” I followed up.

“Well, if I can remember the first was good old planning. Then, I believe the next was getting organized around supporting the plan. Oh yeah, next was leading. This is about truly caring and creating the environment for my troops so that they become more motivated to make it all successfully happen, thus driving up their work effort resulting in high quality performance . The last component was about control. OK, now I remember, it’s about controlling the plan, not my people. I know you really emphasized this last piece when we previously discussed this. Man, I’ve got to really get this into the marrow of my leadership bones. It’s about controlling the plan and motivating my people!”

“Great on you my friend for getting this clear. Around the motivating piece, here’s a small gift that might help you. As I’ve said many times in our past coaching conversations, you can either keep it or throw it in the garbage. I’m never attached to gifts given to you. This particular one has worked well for both myself and many of my executive clients. By the way, I’ve been unable to identify who the author of this is, but here it goes.” 

HEALTHY CARING IS  

I can listen to you without interrupting

Because I am in a working relationship with you, I choose to listen to you and see how my behavior impacts you  

I will not control and manipulate you to get what I want

I will not punish you for saying “no” to me  

I will not fear your rejection. I understand that “no” to me is a “yes” to you. I truly care about you. I want you to take care of yourself  

If you end up leaving our group . . . the organization . . . I will experience definite discomfort and I know that I, we, can still be satisfied here without your valued support 

I will not ask you to give up who you are to be cared by me

Your security, satisfaction and development will be as important to me as my security, satisfaction and development

I will not try to take away your feelings or rob you of them so I can be comfortable

So there you have it dear reader, all of us are continually in choice as to how we relate! So what was the blinding glimpse of the obvious for you, your team, your organization in the above? I would love to hear your thoughts and gain your perspective. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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Posted in: 360 Coaching, Business Coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, Personal Coaching, Team & Group Coaching

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WHY ME GOD?: VICTIMIZATION

 

“My boss has unbelievable expectations!” “ Nobody in my group is stepping up and I’m having to carry the day constantly!” “ The economy has gone to hell in a hand-basket and I’m forced by the organization to work 24 – 7 !” “ My clients are pushing back hard on our rates and they just don’t understand what it takes to service them!”  These and similar comments are shared with us in our executive coaching more often than you may believe.

It’s simply one perspective our client has chosen. Although they don’t know it, they can create and chose other perspectives on the situation they’re wrestling with at any time. They simply are not aware that they are always in choice each and every nano-second of their lives and that includes alternatve ways to view and address their presenting circumstances.

Often, one of the key reasons our executive clients come to executive coaching  is to engage a competent partner who will be of service in their further developing the ability to powerfully create , understand and position themselves to choose other perspectives regarding the same issue.  Then they can decide what they want to do about it, by when and what success would look like when they hold themselves accountable for making it happen.

In the meantime they have chosen the victim perspective and as a result  simply get stuck there. This can be very disconcerting.

Neil Donald Walsh wrote the following on being a victim. It’s a superb observation on this common personal dilemma. 

A VICTIM 

Nothing happens

that  you do not want to have happen. 

Nothing! 

You can imagine that things happen 

that you do not want to happen, 

but this is not what is so, 

and it merely allows you 

to think of yourself as a victim. 

Nothing holds you back

  in your evolution 

more than this single thought. 

The idea of victimization 

is a certain sign 

of limited perception, 

True victimization 

cannot exist! 

So do you see yourself as victim from time to time? What are the alternative perspectives? Which do you choose . . . to be a victim or . . . . . . (you fill in the blank)? Remember it’s all about you, it’s not about them! I’d love to hear your observations, reactions and/or insights. Have a wonderful day!

Posted in: 360 Coaching, Business Coaching, Career Transitions, Emotional Intelligence, Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, Leadership Transition, Organization Development, Personal Coaching

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