Two senior associates, Debbie Robbins and Frank Wagner recently published the following superb article in the Huffington Post that I believe you will find both interesting and intriquing titled ‘It Takes Human Contact to Create Success’. Enjoy.

If you made a list today of your top 25 business relationships and asked yourself, “How much full-on human contact have I had with these people this year?” we (Frank Wagner and I — Frank is also a top leadership and executive coach, an expert on leadership behavior) think you’d be shocked to discover that 95 percent of it may be solely digital: e-mail, Facebook, texting or Twitter. Frank and I have stopped tweeting each other the number of times weekly we beg our clients to simply pick up the phone! We recently sat at a business dinner where, despite the opportunity for unimpeded face time, the two executives at the heads of the table were texting one another while we ate!

Up until 1990 the phone was the equivalent of e-mail, and CEOs were always telling their employees to hang up and have meetings. Now it’s a win to get to voice contact. What’s so powerful about full-on human contact is that it engages all aspects of our ability to access information and make informed decisions. Most meet-ups will include writing, reading, seeing, hearing, speaking and doing. 

Yes, technology has expanded our network of relationships. People brag about how many friends they have on Facebook or the size of their network on LinkedIn. Yes, technology has expanded our capacity to communicate in writing. Twitter has made communication almost ubiquitous and omnipresent. Yes, technology allows our thoughts to be transmitted instantaneously at the speed of our wireless networks. It’s easy. It’s seemingly efficient. That is the good news. 

The not-so-good news is that the side effect of all this technology is the loss of genuine connectedness. As humans we have always found in-person interaction meaningful, rich and complex. Face-to-face relationship-building also deflects the possibility for miscommunications and misunderstandings. With less physical data to interpret because of the heavy use of digital communication, more and more problems are arising between colleagues and consumers. 

Psychology Today did a great piece about a social psychologist and Northwestern University law professor named Janice Nadler, who paired Northwestern law students with those from Duke University and asked each pair to agree on the purchase of a car:

Researchers instructed each team to bargain entirely through e-mail, but half the subjects were secretly told to precede the negotiation with a brief getting-to-know-you chat on the phone. The results were dramatic: Negotiators who first chatted by phone were more than four times likelier to reach an agreement than those who used only e-mail. In the study, which appeared in the Harvard Negotiation Law Review, subjects who never spoke were not only more likely to hit an impasse, but they often felt resentful and angry about the negotiation.

Our personal favorite is the famous New Yorker cartoon that shows a dog sitting on a chair in front of a computer. He turns to his doggie friend sitting on the floor and says: “On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.”

Be honest — electronically, you do not really know who the person is on the other end of your digital exchange. You can’t hear their voice, which is robust with clues. You don’t know how they are receiving your words or even when they are getting your message in physical-time reality. You can’t assess their body language or observe their responses. The sense of professional “intimacy” we depend on is, at best, only utilizing 10 percent of our communication cues, tools and competencies. The more we rely on e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and texting as our primary ways of communicating, the less likely we are to be known by those with whom we are interdependent for our success.

What to do:

1. Assess who is important to you in your professional life, those people with whom you will need a relationship strong enough to weather any storm. 
2. Consciously monitor how much e-mailing, texting or tweeting you rely on for building these relationships.
3. Make sure that at least once a month you either speak with these people by phone or see them in person! The latter is better, even if it entails travel.
4. When you do connect in person, leave enough time to communicate in greater depth so that it really strengthens your relationship. Enjoy yourself when you get this chance to be up close and personal (it is contagious).
5. When you are in human contact, keep any electronic devices far enough removed so that these devices do not interfere with the conversation. Even the slightest eye movement to see who is texting, e-mailing, etc. gives the other person the impression that someone else is more important to you.
6. Find media-free time each week to counter your addiction to staying connected online. You will probably find out you like it.
7. Stay vigilant in your efforts; technology is amazing, but it is also seductive.

When babies aren’t physically touched, they develop severe emotional challenges. E-mail does not qualify as touching, even if your fingers are on your computer or mobile key pad.

We would enjoy hearing your observations and insights. In the meantime, take care!

These are whitewater economic times and the job market is certainly reflective of this. Many executives are either out on the street looking for work or anticipating to one degree or another that very possibility. My client Ross, a former executive with a large international bank, just happen to be in the job search campaign mode himself . “So, what is it that I really need to pay attention to when I’m provided job search referrals to follow up on as I engage in my strategic networking?” he asked.

“What’s the purpose of your networking”, I inquired. “Simple, I want to get out there, meet as many people as possible and dig up hidden job opportunities. Essentially accelerate my transition into a new job . . . one that will be a good fit. I don’t want to rely on the formal job market where I’m competing directly with everyone else!”, Ross responded.

“Well, how we take a few minutes to brainstorm some ideas around this?” I put forward. “I’m game!”, Ross quickly responded. After a twenty minute exchange, the following sums up what ` we created.

• Be highly proactive in following up and contacting referrals from your colleagues, friends, family, etc. . . . don’t delay
• Research the organizations and the persons you’ve been referred to . . . very thoroughly
• Develop and ask powerful questions based on your research
• Listen very carefully to both what each contact says as well as their non-verbals
• If appropriate, ask for permission prior to taking any notes . . . review them shortly after and deepen your learning 
• Develop a standard referral meeting assessment document to identify take-aways, insights, and any activity needing follow-up
• Remember each of your contacts’ time is valuable and limited . . . fully respect this
• Don’t hesitate to request additional referrals each and every time you engage each referred contact . . . make this a regular practice
• It’s critical to thank each contact at the end of your information referral meeting and express your sincere appreciation
• Immediately follow up with a written note, email . . . this is a MUST 
• Note that what is shared with you by the contact is always held in complete confidence
• Always secure a contact’s permission to use that contact as a future reference as you proceed with your strategic networking 

Ross did a super job in contributing to the creation of the foregoing list. Certainly a testament to his commitment to accelerating the success of his job search campaign. If you would like to add to this list, both Ross and I would be most interested in hearing your suggestions.

Madison, a senior vice president with a pharmaceutical firm and client for the past eighteen months, started off our executive coaching discussion, “Bob, I’ve been approached by a global health care agency through a large executive search firm and I’m extremely interested in the opportunity they’ve presented. They want me to meet with the CEO next Thursday and honestly I haven’t been interviewed for quite some time. What might be a make or break question that I could be asked?”

“Well, if you were interviewing a candidate for a position reporting to you, what interview question would you probably  initiate the discussion with?” I asked her. “Well, something like “Tell me about yourself.”

“Bingo!” I said. “That’s the number one interview question asked, or something very similar to it. So, what is you think or feel you need to do when asked this?” Madison quickly came back with, “Make sure I know not only what to respond with, but just as importantly . . . if not more . . . is how I should respond.”

Our coaching conversation then focused on the following key points that were intended to be in service of  Madison powerfully presenting herself, particularly when asked that very high probability inquiry, ’Tell me about yourself question’. Madison concluded that she needed to develop both a 3 minute or less response and a “laser 30 second” version with the following key elements specifically in mind. Further, she clearly understood that her reply needed to be clear, concise, and consistent with the key aspects of her professional background.

1. Who Madison is professionally
2. What her current position is
3. Her clear ‘reason for leaving’ statement
4. An succinct overview of her personal background and education
5. A summary of her professional history
6. An overview of her personal and professional strengths
7. Her level of interest in the opportunity!

As our executive coaching meeting came to a close I asked, “What’s your take-away. . . the gold nugget . . . from our discussion today?”.

“Well, it’s pretty clear now that I not develop and memorize a canned self-presentation, but rather practice to the point where it gets into the marrow of my bones. Then when asked the question, I need to simply trust myself and speak in the moment with the key points we talked about in mind. Although I expect it will come out different each time, the critical pieces will always be covered. I think they call it being unconsciously competent at it. Thank you for asking.”

“I love it when you talk to me that way!” and jokingly kidded her.

Has the foregoing been helpful to you? What are some other key interview questions you’re concerned about? I’m always interested in hearing about your thoughts and feelings on our blogs. Take care.

“Well, I guess if I get some 360 feedback that will help address some of the leadership challenges I’ve been experiencing.”, said Eduardo, a Senior Vice-President with a major EPC (engineering-procurement-construction) corporation . “I think it would be a good start Ed. However, 360 feedback is where the rubber hits the sky. Feedforward is where the rubber hits the ground.”, I responded.

“So what is feedforward?”, Eduardo inquired. “Well, it’s essentially getting suggestions from those impacted by your leadership, your stakeholders, around what it is you can start, stop and/or continue doing . . . what it is you could change . . .  about your leadership behavior that would help them do their work more effectively and fundamentally enhance their overall contribution. Does that make sense?” I asked. Eduardo’s responded, “Absolutely! However, if I did get feedforward from my stakeholders as you put it, how would I know if I’m being successful when doing it?”

“What I offer comes from our collective experience of coaching executives and leaders worldwide, and it is also  based on the research , findings and experience of one of the world’s leading management and leadership thinkers and his associates, Marshall Goldsmith. Keep these basic key points in mind if you want to engage in a successful stakeholder centered leadership coaching initiative. Of course there’s more involved, but these will get you going in the right direction.”

• Choose the behavior you want to improve – improve the leadership behavior that is important to you and be confident that you will indeed improve
• Truly want stakeholder input – pay undivided attention to and  geniunely hear your stakeholders’ messages/gifts
• Appreciate the feedback/feedforward –  take your stakeholders’ input seriously, be willing to respond to the input they provide and take the opportunity to reflect on what it is you are hearing
• Don’t give in to superstition of “negative” self talk - do a levelheaded cost-benefit analysis and commit with a decision on what leadership behavior you  truly want to develop
• Appreciate the help from all your stakeholders - commit to improve and, again, be confident you will improve
• Actively work on what you commit to improve - make every attempt to demonstrate your success and try to reduce the likelihood of a return to your old habits
• Eagerly gain your stakeholders’ insights - actually learn from their experience of you and focus on producing related measureable results

With the support of a highly experienced senior executive coach and confidante to partner with throughout the stakeholder centered leadership coaching process, success and fulfillment is well within reach, not to mentioned the strategic advantage created for your organization.

Thank you for taking a few minutes to read this. What specific leadership behaviors do your people need from you in order for them to be more powerful contributors? I would enjoy hearing any of your thoughts and feelings on this subject? Take care.

One of the most common frustrations that I hear from my executive coaching clients often centers around the need for change and to remain a high performance organization even when to outsiders (and some insiders) there is a sense that the organization is doing very well. Jim Collins in his book Good to Great stated that the enemy of great is good and the experience of my clients reflects precisely that.

Often we focus in on the ability of the leader and the leadership team to create a sense of urgency to support and drive the change. This is easy to create when the organization is losing money and market share in a very public way. But how do you create it in a profitable and stable organization. Waiting for the crisis to become more evident is not always a good plan (ask music stores about iTunes or Blockbuster about NetFlix). The key comes down to creating a meaningful sense of urgency within the organization.

Weighing in on this issue is respected Business thought lead John Kotter in his recent book “A Sense of Urgency“. To assist his readers, Kotter discusses three distinct states: complacency, false urgency and true urgency.

Complacency is the known quantity that we all have bumped up against and have to deal with in our own way as it blocks, both actively and passively, action designed to move the organization and the culture forward.

False Urgency is often the unrecognized issue. Because the people involved often are very active it is frequently mistaken for true urgency. These characteristics lead to high levels of activity with little productivity attached to it . . . where people tend to be reactive and defensive rather than proactive and curious, and lack clear direction or planning in their actions. This leaves them feeling overworked and frustrated which is not conducive to achievement and positive change that is being sought.

True Urgency is that rare state where people are fully engaged with a deep personal connection to the issue. It is easy to engage the mind with a well presented and factual business case. To create the deep personal connection you need to engage the heart of the person. This is best accomplished through the use of a story or example which creates a personal attachment to goals. It also creates a strong personal motivation that ties the individual to achievement of goals. It is stories that enroll the person in the desired goals and compels them to action.

Kotter provides a number of tools that can be used to help make this transition and to identify times when complacency and false urgency exist. The bottom line, you as a leader need to act with true urgency each and every day!

Bringing all this back to our executive coaching clients,means that they need to be self aware and curious about their own role. It can be easy to personally feel that once a particular task is done that the foot can be lifted from the gas pedal for a bit and a deep breath is in order. This is often observed as rationale for feeling that the worst is over and that one’s guard can be let down. Are you guilty of the same thing in your position or in managing your career? What messages are you sending to the organization that may be undermined by your behavior? How are you shortchanging yourself and your organization if you don’t act with a sense of true urgency each and every day?

This is where the executive coaching relationship can have its maximum impact and value for each of our clients. The ability of our executive coaching to support you to hold you, the client, accountable for creating true urgency. The ability and to enhance your self-awareness as leader in ways that avoid self-subvertion, but rather to be  in  true service of moving your and your organization’s agenda powefully forward.

For many of our executive clients the biggest learning has come from identifying the blocks that they create for themselves and as a result creating strategies for overcoming them . . . establishing true urgency in their lives. Once these blocks are removed you,  the client,can quickly begin reaping the competitive advantage, both personally and corporately. This comes from living and acting with a sense of true urgency!

I have just one question to leave with you, “What would you be able to create in your personal and professional life by coming from a place of true urgency in all you do each and every day?