As a global executive coaching practice we partner with leaders at all levels and disciplines in a wide array of global private and public sector organizations. Part of that coaching with our corporate clients more often than not touches on why they get stuck in certain perspectives and let their ‘Child’ run the show vs. being in ‘Adult’, self-managing and objectively taking care of business.

It typically surfaces as a ‘blinding glimpse of the obvious’ when they discover dichotomy for themselves. It’s typically a life, career and leadership changer when they do make this breakthrough. They learn their ‘Child’ also has a very positive side . . . . playful, laughter, fun, vitality, energy, compassion, caring etc. . . . as well as a negative side . . . judgmental (of themselves and others around them), anger, fear, shame, anxiety, sadness, etc.

We recently caught the following country music video on television that really captured the origins of what the child and what we agree  to early in their lives and becomes programmed when we leave home and create our own lives and careers (in this video more of the positive aspects). To this end, we trust you too will enjoy this music video as much as we. So turn up your sound, listen carefully to a great young country star Chris Young to the lyrics and be prepared to tap your cowboyski toes : ! 

We would love to hear your reactions to these comments and Chris Young’s song. Have a great day!

Two senior associates, Debbie Robbins and Frank Wagner recently published the following superb article in the Huffington Post that I believe you will find both interesting and intriquing titled ‘It Takes Human Contact to Create Success’. Enjoy.

If you made a list today of your top 25 business relationships and asked yourself, “How much full-on human contact have I had with these people this year?” we (Frank Wagner and I — Frank is also a top leadership and executive coach, an expert on leadership behavior) think you’d be shocked to discover that 95 percent of it may be solely digital: e-mail, Facebook, texting or Twitter. Frank and I have stopped tweeting each other the number of times weekly we beg our clients to simply pick up the phone! We recently sat at a business dinner where, despite the opportunity for unimpeded face time, the two executives at the heads of the table were texting one another while we ate!

Up until 1990 the phone was the equivalent of e-mail, and CEOs were always telling their employees to hang up and have meetings. Now it’s a win to get to voice contact. What’s so powerful about full-on human contact is that it engages all aspects of our ability to access information and make informed decisions. Most meet-ups will include writing, reading, seeing, hearing, speaking and doing. 

Yes, technology has expanded our network of relationships. People brag about how many friends they have on Facebook or the size of their network on LinkedIn. Yes, technology has expanded our capacity to communicate in writing. Twitter has made communication almost ubiquitous and omnipresent. Yes, technology allows our thoughts to be transmitted instantaneously at the speed of our wireless networks. It’s easy. It’s seemingly efficient. That is the good news. 

The not-so-good news is that the side effect of all this technology is the loss of genuine connectedness. As humans we have always found in-person interaction meaningful, rich and complex. Face-to-face relationship-building also deflects the possibility for miscommunications and misunderstandings. With less physical data to interpret because of the heavy use of digital communication, more and more problems are arising between colleagues and consumers. 

Psychology Today did a great piece about a social psychologist and Northwestern University law professor named Janice Nadler, who paired Northwestern law students with those from Duke University and asked each pair to agree on the purchase of a car:

Researchers instructed each team to bargain entirely through e-mail, but half the subjects were secretly told to precede the negotiation with a brief getting-to-know-you chat on the phone. The results were dramatic: Negotiators who first chatted by phone were more than four times likelier to reach an agreement than those who used only e-mail. In the study, which appeared in the Harvard Negotiation Law Review, subjects who never spoke were not only more likely to hit an impasse, but they often felt resentful and angry about the negotiation.

Our personal favorite is the famous New Yorker cartoon that shows a dog sitting on a chair in front of a computer. He turns to his doggie friend sitting on the floor and says: “On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.”

Be honest — electronically, you do not really know who the person is on the other end of your digital exchange. You can’t hear their voice, which is robust with clues. You don’t know how they are receiving your words or even when they are getting your message in physical-time reality. You can’t assess their body language or observe their responses. The sense of professional “intimacy” we depend on is, at best, only utilizing 10 percent of our communication cues, tools and competencies. The more we rely on e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and texting as our primary ways of communicating, the less likely we are to be known by those with whom we are interdependent for our success.

What to do:

1. Assess who is important to you in your professional life, those people with whom you will need a relationship strong enough to weather any storm. 
2. Consciously monitor how much e-mailing, texting or tweeting you rely on for building these relationships.
3. Make sure that at least once a month you either speak with these people by phone or see them in person! The latter is better, even if it entails travel.
4. When you do connect in person, leave enough time to communicate in greater depth so that it really strengthens your relationship. Enjoy yourself when you get this chance to be up close and personal (it is contagious).
5. When you are in human contact, keep any electronic devices far enough removed so that these devices do not interfere with the conversation. Even the slightest eye movement to see who is texting, e-mailing, etc. gives the other person the impression that someone else is more important to you.
6. Find media-free time each week to counter your addiction to staying connected online. You will probably find out you like it.
7. Stay vigilant in your efforts; technology is amazing, but it is also seductive.

When babies aren’t physically touched, they develop severe emotional challenges. E-mail does not qualify as touching, even if your fingers are on your computer or mobile key pad.

We would enjoy hearing your observations and insights. In the meantime, take care!

“What happens if you walk out the door and get hit by a bus?” It is not unusual when dealing with leaders in our coaching conversations when a question similar to this surfaces. There’s usual a bit of chuckling involved and an exchange of humorous comments before we get down to where the client wants to go . . . the serious five-sixths of the iceberg below the surface of the initial discussion. There is a tendency for some leaders (not you of course) to feel infallible and indestructible. This can get in the way of building greater capacity in those who report to us.

The metaphor of ‘the bus’ comes in many forms. If a version of the bus does in fact unexpectantly run over you (note Schultz’s Law: Murphy’s an optimist), then who is able to seamlessly step into your shoes should you find yourself temporarily out of the game . . . on the sidelines as it were? Are you ready my friend for such an event? Quickly filling the leadership pipeline is one of your major responsibilities . . . your organization should not expect less! As an executive coach who works with clients around the world, I have the slight luxury of a broader perspective of organizations . . . both private, public and not-for-profit sectors. In fact, this year to date I have seen three key senior leaders be unexpectedly moved over to the sidelines in their respective organizations. One leader, a Vice President – Operations, recently reflected on just such an experience. They shared just how thankful they were for the executive coaching support that was in service of their ability to see the value of changing their leadership behavior of shifting from a high need for absolute control to that of developing a greater capacity in others to grow, develop and increase their skills and abilities to take on increased accountability and delivery of high quality results . . . not to mention dramatically enhanced levels of professional and personal satisfaction. The value of succession planning for this particular leader has taken on a whole new level of importance, not to mention for the organization. 

Letting go of the reins of control can be exceptionally challenging for any leader, yet the return on the invested time and resources for the leader, key staff, other stakeholders and the organization typically exceeds all expectations when (not if) the inevitable reality of an unplanned highly stressful event occurs and readily takes the leader out of the game.

Should the inevitable surface for you, are you or your organization able to operate at you’re the most effective levels? Are you truly able to successfully step back and confidently address the presenting issue when temporarily sidelined? I would be most interested in hearing your thoughts, your truth, when the bus comes screaming through your world.

“I really don’t like doing it!” claimed Frank, the Senior Vice President, Business Development with a large corporate leader in the energy business. “Doing what?” I asked. “Control. I hate finding myself in the position to have to control my direct reports. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“So what do you want to do?” was my response. “There must be some other way!” Frank said in frustration (always a green light for my executive coaching). “Do you remember when we talked about the four key components of management a few weeks ago?” I inquired. “Yeah, I do” stated Frank. “So what were they?” I followed up.

“Well, if I can remember the first was good old planning. Then, I believe the next was getting organized around supporting the plan. Oh yeah, next was leading. This is about truly caring and creating the environment for my troops so that they become more motivated to make it all successfully happen, thus driving up their work effort resulting in high quality performance . The last component was about control. OK, now I remember, it’s about controlling the plan, not my people. I know you really emphasized this last piece when we previously discussed this. Man, I’ve got to really get this into the marrow of my leadership bones. It’s about controlling the plan and motivating my people!”

“Great on you my friend for getting this clear. Around the motivating piece, here’s a small gift that might help you. As I’ve said many times in our past coaching conversations, you can either keep it or throw it in the garbage. I’m never attached to gifts given to you. This particular one has worked well for both myself and many of my executive clients. By the way, I’ve been unable to identify who the author of this is, but here it goes.” 

HEALTHY CARING IS  

I can listen to you without interrupting

Because I am in a working relationship with you, I choose to listen to you and see how my behavior impacts you  

I will not control and manipulate you to get what I want

I will not punish you for saying “no” to me  

I will not fear your rejection. I understand that “no” to me is a “yes” to you. I truly care about you. I want you to take care of yourself  

If you end up leaving our group . . . the organization . . . I will experience definite discomfort and I know that I, we, can still be satisfied here without your valued support 

I will not ask you to give up who you are to be cared by me

Your security, satisfaction and development will be as important to me as my security, satisfaction and development

I will not try to take away your feelings or rob you of them so I can be comfortable

So there you have it dear reader, all of us are continually in choice as to how we relate! So what was the blinding glimpse of the obvious for you, your team, your organization in the above? I would love to hear your thoughts and gain your perspective. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

“Bob, I’m a little shocked!” This is how my executive coaching client, Danny, the Vice-President-Production Operations with a large energy firm in the oil patch responded at the beginning of our conversation when asked, “How are things back at the ranch?” He went on to explain that when he had been nudged by their Human Resource function to get a sense of forecasted turnover over the next few years through retirements, attrition, etc., his people had collectively come to the conclusion that 70% of the staff in Danny’s division would turn over in the next 3 years. “Well, what are you planning to do to prevent the potential adverse consequences?”, I asked.

In response, Danny stated, “We clearly have to start identifying successors to the key Production Operations leadership positions, and in parallel with this identify and accelerate the development of High Potentials.” “What are your other glimpses of the obvious?” I asked him. “That’s a darn good question. I guess we’ve got to review other critical roles and specifically any flight risk staff!” 

“What generally would be the outcomes you and your leadership team would likely look for by doing this?” I asked again. He quickly responded with increased energy, “Well for one, identify key talent at the senior levels of our division, get a solid sense of our bench strength, get those we identify to be clear on their needed development activities, and agree with our senior team as to what exactly the key succession management metrics should  be!”. Danny had quickly created excellent strategic direction around this challenge that’s common to most private and public sector organizations.

When asked, “What’s really driving all of this?”, Danny said “That’s another great question. We’re anticipating continued strong growth once the economy gets back on its feet and obviously anticipating turnover of our key people. The increased challenge of filling these key roles along with our questionable current bench strength and readiness to backfill are clearly wanting, as well as our lack of being able to identify HiPo’s right now and having them ready to step into senior leadership roles when we need them to surface. I think these are the real concerns here.”

“How do you feel about all of this?” I asked. “Quite frankly, I’m disappointed, mad as hell for allowing ourselves to get into this position, and I’m damned anxious about what might happen if we don’t get on top of it . . . and yesterday! It’s now one of our top priorities!”

“So, what do you want to do about it?” I asked him. “Well, it’s clear that we’re engineering experts and not Human Resource experts so we’ll need to get together with HR and soon. I’ll put this at the top of the list at our next Production Ops executive leadership team meeting this coming Tuesday.”

“If you thought you knew what needed to be done in terms of the overall process for moving this forward quickly, what might that be?” Being the quick thinker he naturally is, Danny stated, “OK, do you just make these questions up? Well first, I would think that we need to scope out what actually needs to be identified through our succession management initiative. Second, we would no doubt have to assess and review our current engineering talent for levels of performance and potential. Third, we’d obviously have to start figuring out what key leadership and individual-contributor engineering roles need to be replaced and when. Last, I’m thinking it’s about making sure we have a top notch development action planning process in place that can be quickly designed and implemented. Does that make sense?”. “More importantly, does it make sense to you?” I responded. “You know, it does. Thanks.”, said Danny.

“So what’ll your next steps be given what you’ve said so far?” I asked him. “Again, the questions Uncle Bob!”, Danny said jokingly. “Well let me see. I’m thinking we start right away by initiating a succession planning meeting between us and HR early next month to agree on role expectations, determine critical roles in the Production Operations division, identify high impact engineer flight risks and begin a talent review to develop a list of HiPo’s.” “Then what?”, I asked. “OK”, Danny said, “Later in the month, we’ll make sure we have a talent replacement plan in place. In the following month we can shoot for having a development plan nailed down, and the month after that have our succession metrics in place with a solid progress plan established. Yeah, that’s sounds like it would do it.” 

Lastly I asked Danny, “So how will we know you’ve done what you’ve said?” “Again, with the questions!” he responded tongue in cheek. “I’ll send you a one page copy of our general plan for making this happen with target dates. I’ll send you an email once I believe each of the key milestones have been achieved. We can also carve out a small portion of some of our future executive coaching calls for us to discuss what’s happening. Will that work?” “It’s sounds like a plan my friend.” said I.

What insights in the foregoing were there for you? What one word captures your reaction? How do you feel about the subject of talent management and succession planning. What do you want to do with it? I would love to receive any gems this may have conjured up for you. For those interested, a wonderful book on this subject is ‘The Leadership Pipeline: How to Build the Leadership Powered Company’, by Ram Charan, Stephen Drotter and James Noel. Take care and have a great day!